The look of pride on my 5-year old’s face when he stepped up to receive his trophy at the end of his first flag football season confounded me. The size of the trophy, how they were handed out, nor the reason that trophies were given out at all was not the root of my confusion. What was so puzzling was my reaction to the moment. I was full of pride, happy for my son’s sense of accomplishment - which you could see on his face. I was excited to see how excited he was to accept the award and to take pictures with his coaches and his teammates.

Ok, this all sounds great. So, why am I confounded and confused? I should be over the moon - except for the fact that, up until now, I have always been opposed to “participation” trophies and medals given to kids seemingly for just showing up. But, there I was cheering loudly and with tears in my eyes, so gratified that my son is walking off the field with exactly the thing to which I was so vehemently opposed. How is this even possible?

You may be wondering why I am so against these little hunks of fake gold shaped like a football. As an avid sports fan, I watch athletes all the time face defeat and all that comes with it. Everything from being cut from a team to losing a big game like the World Series, day in and day out athletes are not rewarded for the fact that they show up. If they didn’t win, they lost. That is part of the game and part of what makes you a better athlete. In my eyes, it is hugely important that we teach kids early on that you must put in effort to be your best and that winning only comes when you do so. You don’t win just because your parents signed you up for a sport. And, by the way, I am not the only one at The Distillery, Inc. who feels this way. My business partner, Eira is even more opposed than I am and way more vocal about it.

Why do we feel the need to give kids awards just for showing up or, as Eira likes to put it, “getting an award just for living and breathing?” Are we so deep into the era of political correctness that we need to make sure everyone is treated equally? With a little bit of research, I discovered that the issue is a bit more complex than being “PC” on the field. Psychology has shown that a positive way to reward kids is to focus on their effort and not the outcome of the game. The way they hustle, the way they work through disappointment or failure on the field, the way they practice, and the way they treat their teammates and opposing players is much more important to building their self-esteem. These are the attributes that the original “trophies for everyone” were apparently meant to celebrate. That seems reasonable.

However, over time and through the well-meaning actions of parent-coaches, the trophies and medals have devolved into something given to everyone for any reason at all. This is what I am totally opposed to. It has devolved into giving medals at the end of a game because a kid was the only one who hadn’t received it yet. This is what happened to our kids. They got their medal for good communication on a day when neither of our sons was particularly listening to what the coaches were saying or engaged with their teammates. They were just the only ones who hadn’t yet received a medal and so they got one that day. Darn it, I want my son to get a medal for earning something!

But, as I watched my son receive his trophy with tears in my eyes, I realized that he did show up every week. He participated with enthusiasm - whether he was just the center for a few plays or was sitting out to give others a chance to play. He did, mostly, listen to the coaches during their limited practices. He did do things out of his comfort zone, like pulling off the flag of an opposing team member - which is something that made him a bit fearful. He did score on more than one occasion. He made friends with his teammates, most of whom he had never met before. He never spoke poorly of the other teams, even though most of the time they were beating my son’s team roundly. And, he was always excited to come back and play. For a 5-year old who had never played football before, in my mind at least, he did resoundingly earn the trophy he was given. Whether the coaches had presented it in a way that the kids knew what their effort had truly been, all of the kids had made it each and every week.

I feel like, at the end of the day, for at least at the beginning of a child’s youth sports experience, a trophy for showing up and participating is ok. When you are 5,6, and 7 it really is about the effort and not the win. The effort is often just making it to the field each week and being excited to play. Heck, at this stage, there are very loose rules and nobody really counts or cares about the scores. The kids are still learning what it means to be on a team. They are still learning what the rules of the game are. In fact, some of them are still learning which end of the field is their goal zone - as we saw a couple of times when our kids scored for the other team. I know my softened stance may not be popular with some…particularly, Eira. But, for now, I am going to cheer on any medal or trophy my son earns - even if it is just for showing up. I will let him proudly place it in his room and show it off with pride. But, he shouldn’t get so comfortable with the idea because, when he turns eight, all bets are off!

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​I was having a casual conversation with my son’s physical education coach at school a couple of days ago. Of course, the Super Bowl topic came up, as it would given that the big game is coming up this Sunday. Coach asked me the obvious question, “Who are you rooting for?” I have been an Eagles fan for a long time - since my grandmother had a crush on former head coach Dick Vermeil - so my answer was simple for me...no other agenda. I just want the Eagles to win because I like the team. Coach, however, had a much more fascinating response.


He told me he too was rooting for the Eagles, but only because he HATES the Patriots. I figured he hated them because he was a fan of a rival team. But, no. He explained that he just hates the Patriots. In fact, he went on to extol that he hates the Patriots even more than he likes any other team in the NFL! WHAT?! No deeply rooted rivalry…just hate. In his mind, it doesn’t matter who the opposing team is…if the Patriots are playing, they MUST lose. When I asked why, he said, “Because they always win.” I have to say, for whatever reason, I kind of agreed - although not to the same degree as Coach. But, it did start me thinking: why do we love to hate athletes and teams that always win?  

In a world where we value hard work, focus, discipline, and success, it seems that, when it comes to sports, we only want to see that in small doses. If a team sometimes win, we are ok with it. If they “always” win, we don’t like it so much. If they are hit with adversity, we cheer that on. We eagerly await getting to see the mighty fall. We delight in their failure. I tried to do some research on this subject but there really wasn’t as much out there as one might think. The only consistent theme that I found was that “we love underdogs.”  While I agree with this premise, this doesn’t explain the phenomenon that I am talking about. What I am referring to is actually wanting an athlete or a team to not be too successful. It really isn’t about the underdog overcoming a challenge. It is about actively wanting to see a team lose. And, as it is in this Sunday’s case, it is about stopping lengthy winning streaks.

As I contemplated this concept further, I realized that I, too, am a perpetrator of ill will against super success. I am a big Formula 1 fan and, for sure, I wanted to see Michael Schumacher’s multiple-year championship reign come to an end. Heck, although I am a solid Lewis Hamilton fan, if he wins one more season, I might stop watching F1 for a while. I couldn’t stand the Chicago Bulls after their ‘91-‘92 and‘96-’97 wins. I didn’t want to see them “three-peat” either time. The NY Yankees of the late nineties really annoyed me. Even Usain Bolt in the last two Olympics got under my skin! And, how about the Crimson Tide? I mean, come on! How many times can you win a National Championship in a decade? And, don’t start me on Manchester United. It drove me crazy how much they won - and I was even friends with the coach! The only exception to this phenomenon, of course, is if the winners are my team. I know that there is not a single Patriots fan, Bulls fan, or Man U fan in the world who would not want to see their team win over and over again.

So, the question still remains as to “why?” Why do so many of us want to see limited success in the field of sports? After deep consideration, the only thing I can really chalk it up to is boredom. In a world of fidget spinners, multi-tasking, multiple screens, and instantaneous delivery, I believe that, as a society, we are getting more and more bored - more and more quickly. It isn’t that we don’t like to see people perform at the top of their game or that we begrudge athletes a win when they put in years of hard work to be the best at what they do. I think we just get bored. We get bored of seeing the same team or athlete win over and over again. In a sense, it takes away from the excitement of the game. We miss the anticipation that we all love to experience during the build-up to a big sporting event like the Super Bowl or the Olympics, where everything is going to be on the line. For weeks, we wonder who will win. How will they do so? That tension is awesome. But, if the situation feels one-sided, then we go back to being bored. This leaves us feeling deflated at best, or angry and resentful at worst.

So, if you are feeling bored during the run up to this week’s Super Bowl, my advice is to quickly become a hardcore Eagles fan (even if you like the Pats) and enjoy the sensation of anticipating a possible underdog win at the Super Bowl. If boredom strikes you in any other case, my advice is to appreciate the hard work that the athletes have put into getting where they are, enjoy watching excellence in motion, and remember that every streak does eventually come to an end…it’s just a matter of time. I know this for a fact. I am, after all, a Trojans football fan!

4 teams, 2 playoff games, 2 incredible endings, 2 different outcomes, but 1 common theme: NEVER GIVE UP. Our mantra at The Distillery Inc. is “sports is a metaphor for life.” When you study sports and athletes, you are looking at a microcosm of each and every one of our worlds...for better or for worse. I think this is one of the reasons that we love sports so much. My partner Eira and I see ourselves in those moments of victory or defeat, challenge or synchronicity, that happen in every sport in every part of the world. Those moments help us make sense of our daily lives. I think is why Sunday’s NFL divisional playoff games sparked something in me about life that is clearly seen in sports all the time: it is important to NEVER GIVE UP.

In both games on Sunday, the teams had to persevere until the very last seconds to come from behind and have a shot at winning. In the Vikings vs. Saints game, both teams had to overcome significant deficits at different times. The Saints were behind by 17 points at the beginning of the second half, yet came back and took the lead with about 3 minutes remaining in the game. In those short 3 minutes, the teams traded field goals, leaving the Vikings 1 point behind with 25 seconds to go. Yes, I said only 25 seconds with the ball on their own 20-yard line! Impossible one might think! That doesn’t even seem like enough time to make it into field goal range, despite the very talented athletes on the field. 25 seconds…think about what 25 seconds are. Even with the ability to stop the clock, that really is not a lot of time. And, yet, somehow, without seemingly thinking about how impossible it was going to be to even get close, the Vikings strung together 4 plays that culminated with an often practiced, rarely executed, pass toward the sideline that inexplicably resulted in a touchdown with zero seconds remaining on the clock. Proving, without a shadow of a doubt, that one can NEVER GIVE UP!

In the Steelers vs. Jaguars game, the Steelers were down by two touchdowns with only about 5 minutes left to play. One wouldn’t even think it feasible to overcome that kind of insurmountable deficit, or to even get a chance to win, with such a small amount of time left. The Steelers struggled the whole game, at times down by as much as 21 points.  Every time it looked like they were completely out of the game, they would rally until their deficit was ONLY 10 points with 1:45 to go in the game. NEVER GIVE UP…this sentiment must have been going through the players’ heads as they stepped out onto the field. Even though their outcome was not to be the same as the Vikings’, Pittsburgh managed another touchdown in that last minute, giving them at least a shot of tying or winning the game.  NEVER GIVE UP.

This scenario plays out in sports all the time – teams fighting back against ostensibly overwhelming odds. Whether on to victory or not, athletes are trained from their early days to know, not just believe that they can win a game no matter how far behind they are or how little time is left. The actual outcome of the game is almost irrelevant, meaning a win is what they want but they know that it may not happen. It doesn’t matter what the outcome might be…NEVER GIVE UP. That mindset is what makes athletes unique and what provides the drama in sports that we all love to watch.  

Can you imagine how that kind of mindset would play out in your life? If we lived by a certain number of innings or had a clock running with a certain amount of time on it, what choices would we make differently? Would we tap into and hone our natural skills to a higher level? Would we push ourselves harder in those moments when we are falling behind or be more comfortable being uncomfortable? Would we be more willing to let go of the outcome and be satisfied with just leaving everything out on the field? Would we be more excited at the prospect of having to come from behind? Would it be easier for us to never give up?

In a real way, and without being too morbid, we do live our lives against a clock, but we don’t always have the “two-minute” warning or a sense that you are in the bottom of the ninth to, perhaps, push us to elevate our “game.” I think that is the lesson I learned from watching football this weekend. We all have the opportunity, probably every day, to never give up on something that is happening in our world. If we take a cue from athletes and exercise our muscle of never giving up, of letting go of the end result and pushing onward no matter what, we might see our lives evolve in a completely different way.   
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So, get out there…channel your inner athlete, and NEVER GIVE UP!  I’ll bet you will be happily surprised by the results.

Oh, there is so much to talk about in sports today.  As I thought about what I wanted to talk about this week, I realized that so much of what is on my mind was focusing on the negative.  A rant regarding this topic or an annoyance about that.  Boy, have I got a lot to say.   But as I sat down to write this blog, I decided all of those topics could wait, at least for this week. 

As the holiday season is upon us and we are starting to feel the unity and love that overtakes us as we inch closer to the end of the year, I want to celebrate one of the best things about sports in general and its athletes.  The way they give back. 

This world has experienced an exceptionally high number of tragedies and has endured very difficult events this year.   Natural disasters, evil acts and the daily exposure of selfish and egotistical behavior by people, corporations and governments.  All of these have impacted each one of us, either directly or indirectly.  We have all known someone that has been there for or felt the pain of….fill in the blank.   The world is in pain and we are all clearly feeling the “heat” of all that is going on.   Luckily for many of us sports provide a welcome distraction from the seemingly never-ending barrage of bad news.   But sports and its athletes are doing so much more than merely serving as a means to distract ourselves periodically through our weeks and months. 

Athletes are giving back.  They are giving their time, reputations, money and in-kind contributions to support local and international charities.

The total amount of money being donated by sports leagues or their athletes is a hard number to pin down.   There are bits of information from different sources, but from what I can piece together if you just look at cash donations we are talking hundreds of millions each year.   For example, this year sports teams and athletes raised approximately $55 million in aid relief for Hurricane Harvey alone!  Every sports franchise, at least in the U.S., has a charitable foundation through which it donates to local charities sometimes giving upward of $5 million per year.  Every major sports league takes on numerous giving back campaigns during its season.  One of my personal favorites is the NFL’s “My Cause, My Cleats” which even though it doesn’t specifically raise money for different organizations it raises awareness in a big way through promotion and personal stories shared during the week of the campaign.  I guarantee the organizations that are supported by each athlete who runs on the field wearing their cleats see an increase in donations as a result.

There are so many charitable initiatives organized each and every year in sports.  And so many things to say about sports as a platform for giving back.  Mostly good, some maybe not so good.  But the bottom line is giving back is one of the best things about sports.  At The Distillery Inc., we espouse to our clients that sharing is one of the major foundations to building lasting fulfillment in life in general, not just when one is playing professional sports.  The old saying of “the more you give, the more you get” is not just a clever cliché.  It is a universal truth, that for some reason is easier said than done. 

Which is why I am infinitely proud to be a sports fan.  Because no matter the motivation behind the giving, the industry certainly gives and it gives in a big way.  Maybe even more than other comparable multi-billion-dollar industries.  The leagues and their athletes worldwide set great examples for those that look up to them of what it means to give back.  They show us that sharing does pay off.  That caring is a crucial element in all we do as a community and a society and that without a doubt, the more you give the more you get.   Happy Holidays everyone!

​“Cognitive Consistency”:   A theory in psychology that states “people anticipate consistency; inconsistencies create imbalance and dissonance in individuals; and that tension motivates the individuals to create consistency in order to achieve balance.” By that definition, my cognitive consistency has truly been put to the test recently, as I have been in a state of imbalance and internal dissonance when it comes to the way major sports leagues are dealing with infractions, large and small, from their athletes.

​On the other hand, AJ Green, wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns and cornerback Jalen Ramsey of the Jacksonville Jaguars got into an all-out brawl on the field, which looked more like a bunch of high school kids duking it out at lunchtime than two highly paid sports professionals playing a game that, again, millions of fans are watching. The two were rightfully ejected from the game, but there was zero penalty after the fact.   

Here is where the dissonance sets in. Both incidents were out of control and not befitting for grown men who are paid a lot of money to play a game. Both incidents were equal in terms of severity. Nobody really got hurt, but someone could have. Both stopped the game for many minutes while things got sorted out, disrupting the viewing pleasure of the fans. Both represented what is not so good about football, which is often seen as a sport of aggression. But, which players got the better deal: ejection from half of a game, or missing an entire game plus losing your salary? Why should Mike Evans suffer more than either AJ Green or Jalen Ramsey? I believe the consequences of both infractions should have been the same. CONSISTENCY, my friends, CONSISTENCY.  It helps the players, helps the leagues, and helps to take the pressure off of the commissioners, who seem to want to get involved in day-to-day decisions that are really better left to the referees on the field. 

Look, we are all human and sometimes forget to keep our emotional impulses in check. But, the leagues…the leagues have the ability to create the rules and dole out the consequences in a fair and consistent manner.  It would be nice and, from a psychological standpoint, healthier for all of us fans, players, owners, managers, and coaches if they could figure out how to be CONSISTENT! I am hoping that, by definition, the tension around these inconsistencies helps to drive a wave of change that will encourage the leagues to look at how they deal with players who make poor choices on the field. 

Oh, and don’t get me started on Yuri Gurriel…I will have to leave that for another blog post!